Life Slipping Through the Cracks

Does anyone else ever feel like life is literally slipping through the cracks underneath you?

Things just move SO fast these days I forget you have to

slow down to enjoy the things going on in your life right now.

I sometimes feel like I can't just sit back and enjoy life, that I have to keep going a hundred miles

an hour or I will miss something.

I'm feeling SO pressured to finish school, and it's really stressful to think about all the stuff

I have going on right now.... I work full time, go to school full time, and I'm planning

a wedding.  Not to mention all the everyday life tasks I still have to keep up with.

I still need to lose weight and think about myself, but I keep 

making excuses, it's definitely not easy while being SO busy! 

(I'm sure you guys are sick of hearing me complain and make excuses all the time also!)

We always have something to complain about or something that is not
perfect in life... I'm still figuring my way of coping with it out...

Not Focused

We all know that with the Holidays here, it's so hard to focus on

being healthy... there is so much good food and sweets to consume, it's hard to say NO!

I'm really struggling right now...

I'm so stressed this week for one, because finals are next week and I have

a TON of stuff due by the end of this week!

I'm so hoping to take advantage of the month off of school to focus on me and not have to worry about

turning in an assignment or taking a test every other day... 

I miss the being able to do whatever I want and not have to worry about school stuff...

I can't wait till May of next year!!!!!! 

After the major stress of this week is over, I need to hold myself accountable for getting back

to the gym and not making excuses!

There is so many good things going on in my life right now, and a lot of them pointing

to successes but I just have to take hold of them and step up and say, I'm ready to change, FOR ME!

My body is in pain pretty much all the time, whether it be my knee, my back,

my legs, or my stomach.... something is always wrong with my body, and the cure is simply

eating the right foods.... I know that the foods I eat cause my stomach to hurt and I feel

bloated and sick A LOT of the time... I just don't get why I keep torturing myself when i know there are ways to make myself and my body feel better.... 

I'm waiting till the first of the new year to start my advocare cleanse, cause I want to make sure I am

focused and ready to do it... it's to hard to plan around the holidays in December!

I guess this means I shouldn't vent so much.... unless it's a good venting!

Wedding Wagon

I've decided to do the Advocare 10 Day cleanse again,

when I did it before I lost about 8 lbs in the first 10 days then I got engaged and I fell off

the wagon, cause we all know that after all that, drinks and going out to

eat were in order!

I just haven't been able to get back on the wagon and continue on this long haul

journey it's going to be to get to my goal weight, and also to try and lose

most of it before my wedding Sept 27, 2014.

For about 3 weeks I was doing really good!  A friend of mine told me when she lost a lot of weight,

she would just go to the gym and walk on the treadmill for an hour each night and 

not skip a day, but to be completely committed to working out

everyday... walking isn't that hard, or going even going on the cross trainer for an hour each

day!  So I gave it a try, I was dedicated to doing that, I was committed,

but as I explained it only lasted for about 3 weeks... I'm not sure why it's so hard for me to stay committed to something, especially cause I know how much I want it!

It's almost like food has completely possessed my brain and I can't get out of the trap!

I'm going to do my best to keep my focus cause I want to be proud of myself on my wedding

day, and be able to say I worked really hard to look good for the best day of my life!  More importantly I want to do it for my Fiance!

With the Holiday's approaching it makes it more difficult to keep my focus

on the end result!

Wish me luck, any encouragement is much appreciated!!!! :)

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Engagement and other Struggles

Well I am happy to announce that I will be getting married!!!!!!!!

:)

My BF decided that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and I couldn't be happier!

Let's take a step back for a second though, I did the advocare cleanse (only 10 days), I loved it

I felt really good and I ate really good (because I was prepared), and I started the 

max phase which is the last 14 days of the 24 day Challenge, and then

we got engaged so I kinda fell off the wagon.

I'm pretty bummed though cause I lost 8lbs in the 10 day cleanse phase, and was proud

of myself for sticking with it and eating really good, and of coarse now I'm back at 

square one, so I get to start all over again.... 

This is getting old, I'm sure more for you guys that are reading about my non scale victories like

everyone week and month more then for me, but it's SO damn frustrating.

I do have some incentive now to lose though, cause I sincerely don't want to be a fat unhappy bride, you can't do that to yourself on what is supposed to be the happiest day of your life!!!

I gotta draw the line somewhere, I make now major promises, but

something has got to change for this girl!!!!

This was the beautiful view right before I got engaged!

This was our celebration drink after we got engaged! (Moscow Mule!)

Pick Yourself Back Up (& Timeline)

I have not been doing good AT all with the way I'm eating or working out and

I knew it had caught up with me, but when I stepped on the scale Monday morning I was

ashamed to say the least! I took that and am now running with it... 

I can't believe I have just stepped back and watched my life pass by without

continuing my journey of getting to the better or exciting life I dream about everyday.

Last week, I was talking to my mom and my BF a lot about how I was going to really fix this problem I have

with eating and not being able to control my weight the way I want to, I came up with a 

couple solutions, one was to start taking metabolife, and two was to do the advocare challenge.

I decided to try both!

I started metabolife on Tuesday of this week, I'm not sure if I am really all that excited about it yet, it has a lot of caffeine in it, and can give me the shakes at times.  I was conscious of what I ate

for the most part this week, I'm happy to say I am down 4lbs since Monday, but I'm not celebrating yet because I'm still disappointed with that start number on Monday.

Starting Monday I will be doing the Advocare 10 day cleanse, I thought I would start with that and if

I am enjoying it and it's working I might continue on to do the rest of the 24 day Challenge.

This was Monday...

Bringing out the Timeline again... We haven't seen this for quite awhile....
*296 Monday's SCARY weight :/ (9-19-13)
*292 Today's weight (9-13-13)
*287 highest weight May 2013 (after IUD)
*285 current weight
*283 the weight that haunts me
*280 Last week
*278 when I started "17 Day Diet" Oct 2012
*260 Florida  Trip Nov 2012
*245 what I weighed when I went on my first date with Scott 11-11-11
*240 what I weighed when I started running 2009
*220 what I weighed on our CRUISE 2010
*200 while I worked at Burgie's 2007
*199 Jump for joy I'm in One-derland!
*180 what I weighed before I started working at Burgie's Coffee shop (in High School)
*165 GOAL WEIGHT

( I am still holding myself to these goals here... I just have to get back to it...)

I am hoping that by doing the Advocare Challenge and also by taking metabolife, it will
help kick start me to get back on track and to stop slowing down, cause when I start again I just have
even more weight to lose then if I would have just stuck with it all in the first place.

Happy Friday!!!! GO Cyclones!!!!!

Addiction

I was thinking last night about how disappointed I've been with myself in not 

having enough will power to say no to food and say yes to being happy and healthy.

This is the realization I came up with....

I thought to myself remember how hard it was to think about quitting smoking....

Well after I did the Climb for Air and I couldn't breath and I struggled with the thought that I couldn't

even make it up 16 flights of stairs... Well I then made up the decision that I need to quit

smoking because I didn't want that to hold me back from being able

to accomplish things in my life.  And from that day on I hardly thought about picking up a cigarette again, it's been about 5 months and I have maybe had 2 cigarettes and to be honest I don't miss

it at all.

Now the question is, why can't I carry this over to my eating habits?!

I know that if I don't start eating healthier and getting in shape that I am at risk for 

heart disease, diabetes, having a heart attack and many other things but I guess that isn't enough

to scare my mind into not eating those bad things... (I don't get why it was

so easy to quit smoking, cause my bad eating happened about the same time

I started smoking...)

My BF and I had a brief discussion last night about how hard it is for him to quit 

chewing... mainly because it's been a part of his life for so long,

and he just isn't fully ready to give it up... but 

I connected that with my food addiction, I love food and most of the food I love

aren't very good for me but it's SO hard to just

up and say I will never have "that" again, it makes you want to eat more of it

because you are thinking about how you might have to give it up.

I constantly think about how I need to change and how much better my life can be

and how bad I want it... but.... this darn food addiction is killing me... it's like a bad voice in my head

that says you don't want to give up the foods you love (SO DON'T)... 

Life Changes

It's been awhile since I've made an update!

I'm happy to say it's for a good cause though, I have accepted a

new position at my current job, so that is keeping me busy at this time.

I'm also getting prepared for school to start again next week, so my mind has been 

occupied with that. (I have an interesting semester coming up, I'm taking

Intro to International Bus, Accounting 1, and Microeconomics...)

Given all that information I have not had much time to focus on the foods I have been

eating nor have I taken the time to exercise much either. :(

I had last week off so I did enjoy a few long bike rides throughout the week,

one of them being a 37 mile ride by myself and the other with the BF was a 26 mile ride.

This is where I ended my 37 mile ride.

This is where we ended our 26 mile ride, of coarse with Apple Pie Shots! :)

We enjoyed our week off with lots of bad foods and drinks to make things more interesting!

We also attended the Iowa State Fair.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have been really thinking about things in terms of the future and even the present

and I've realized that some of the little things I put off as being no big deal (such as a stomach ache

or swollen hands & feet, even just different things changing with my body) when in reality

I could end up being a really big deal, so my mind is starting to switch into a more positive thinking as far

as picking better foods to eat and make better choices for my body and my life(it hasn't fully kicked in but my mind is starting to change)

Also, it has been a huge change for me since accepting a new position, I'm liking my surroundings 

and the things that are happening in my life a lot better so it makes me want to 

do better for myself and make myself feel good.

Finding the Problem Areas

The month of July has been a time of lots of ups and downs for me.... I'm learning a lot about what I want in life and also how I am going to achieve those things.

Well.... we all know that all I really talk about is needing to lose weight to be

happier and to be able to accomplish the things I set my mind to do... but I've realized that

I can't keep putting my life on hold and waiting for that perfect moment when I step on the scale to see 

165lbs (my goal weight), I have to enjoy every step along the way... I'm obviously not

perfect and sometimes I move in the wrong direction that what I have my focus on

but in the end just because I'm overweight doesn't mean I can't live a fulfilling life right here and now 

in order to be happy.

I'm so tired of constantly putting myself down, and not wanting to go out and do anything

because I'm afraid that I will be judged, a lot of the time I cover those feelings with

alcohol when I am in public... that seems to be the only way I can face being in public with my 

friends is if I have alcohol in my hand to help numb the embarrassment.

I know that I have sabotaged my body and not only with alcohol but also with food... (I didn't get this

way just by drinking... I eat and I drink...) I care about what other people think of me

and how those who read my blog wonder when they see me... I thought she was 

losing weight (to me I guess that makes the pressure even more, but yet I still sit here and I right about

my unsuccessful journey of not losing any weight and still being miserable in my own body).

For some reason the pressure and embarrassment I feel on a daily basis isn't enough for me to 

completely put it all into action and make something happen... instead I just complain to you guys about how

unsuccessful I have become and what a failure I feel like I am.

Everyone always says if you don't like something then change it... I don't know why it's so hard to

change this... I know what I need to do I have the tools to do it and I also have the support to do it...

What the F*** is wrong with you, Kelsie?! Why can't you just grasp this concept and run with it?!

I will just throw out there for everyone I have not weighed myself at all this month and I don't plan on weighing for awhile because I'm too afraid to see the number on the scale...

You all know that I didn't keep track of my calories or anything for this whole month, some 

days were better then others... we did a LOT of bicycling this month and I had a few good runs, I know

I didn't accomplish my 35 mile goal (I"m okay with that though), I'm gonna try to 

keep that same goal for the month of August.

I have been really loving bicycling, I asked my boyfriend the other night if he notices

when we big the HUGE smile I always have on my face?! He said yea why... I said because it makes me

happy to ride my bike, it's something that challenges me, and it doesn't hurt my body as bad, and most

importantly my BF and I love to do it together!

Negativity

The last couple weeks I have had some extra free time to sit down

and let my mind wander and think about things in life with a deeper mentality, it's 

been a while since I have really looked at me from the inside instead of the outside.

I have to give up all the negative self talk I give myself for one,

it makes things so much worse when I continue to feel like I've been defeated,

and also knowing that when I really want something I can reach it.

Which brings about another thing in me that I'm not fond of, I have reached SO many goals

and overcome a Lot of stuff in my short life so far, what I am still trying to really 

get a good grip on is how I can pull that through in all

areas of my life, not just my physical abilities to do certain things but most importantly

the mental part of acknowledging that I have a big goal in mind but for

some reason I can't execute the mental status of it.  I can push myself physically 

to reach goals (for instance when I workout I always do way more then

I think I am capable of) for some reason the mental battle of giving up something or trying to ignore

some things and get past other things is SO difficult for me.

I really just want to stop feeling like I am wasting my life by eating the wrong foods

or not participating in things because I know I will feel guilty and embarrassed about my weight.

For some reason my mind just can't comprehend and change the way I plan it out in my head....

I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself and feeling sad and depressed but I can't

find it in me to change it... but I want it so badly deep down, it doesn't make sense.

Happy Pants

I have my happy pants on the last couple weeks... (not sure what that means exactly but it sounded legit!)

As I mentioned a couple weeks ago, I have decided to not

worry about what my body is doing so much and to JUST DO IT!

Let me tell you I feel SO much better about myself and I feel like a much happier me!

It's so much easier to figure things out when you don't have to record everything

into an app or figure out how many calories I am burning compared to home much food I am eating....

those things are very helpful but I was getting so obsessed that I wanted to give up

cause I felt like I was constantly failing!

I have been finding fun things to do to workout, I have been biking A LOT the last couple weeks

and I have just been picking healthier choices when eating things.

Last weekend the BF and I decided we wanted to ride our bikes and we picked a different

trail that we had never been on, it was in Downtown Des Moines and it went to Ankeny, we rode a total of 

40 miles that day! It was So much fun to see something different then the same old

trail we always ride plus I love spending time with my BF  (just us),

he pushes me to go harder and furthur then I think I can when it's just us, mainly because

I have to keep up with him and he has to wait for me cause there is noone 

else around.

This is on the downtown bridge!

We met these fine folks at the Wheelhouse in Ankeny, where we of coarse had to have an Apple Pie Shot for my aunt Vicki's Birthday! :)

Then we had to hit up El Bait Shop in Downtown.

I also got to meet up with some good friends (whom I never get to see!) and we had a blast! :)

 After we had a great ride on Saturday we got up on Sunday and thought maybe we would do a short ride around Ames.... We did ride in Ames but we made it to Whiskey River and then to Tip Top! :)

We did manage to get in a whole 8 miles though.

Cheers to changing my lifestyle and going after what I really want in life! :)
(Not to mention I have had a few people ask if I have lost weight... that is a great way to brighten my mood!
I can't answer direct all I can say is I feel better and my clothes are a bit looser)

Holiday Weekend + Misc.

We had a great time celebrating the 4th of July (4 Day) weekend!  We were SO lucky the weather was AWESOME! We got lots of sun, fun, and drinking in! :)

It was much needed to have a get away weekend to enjoy life and not have to 

think about all the craziness and stuff going on in our normal everyday lives! 

Here are some highlights of our trip:

(Dirty Thirties for $21.50)

(Floating, Sunning, and Drinking!)

More floating and drinking of coarse!

We had a blast to say the least and a HUGE thank you to everyone

that provided good fun and good food and of coarse good company! :D

----------------------------------------------------

On a different note!

This weekend I did not track any of my food or my weight at all... I would not have wanted to anyway cause I knew I wouldn't eat the  best and we did day/night drinking pretty much everyday also....

Honestly though I don't feel like I've gained weight while gone, I'm sure I probably did a little, but I have

not confirmed that with the scale yet... I wanted to settle for a few days before I was super

disappointed.

Needless to say, I've decided to try going this month without being obsessed with my weight 

and tracking my food, I think it stresses me out to have to record everything and

seeing I still have calories left makes me want to eat... I'm going to 

try just going by how my body feels, and eating in moderation.  I will let you know how that goes for me.

*****just to clarify! I am not giving up by any means I am just taking this month to try something different cause what I'm doing is not working the way I want it to! I will still be doing my 35 miles and possibly a 5k in Chicago at the end of the month, I just want to try to not worry so much about everything and just do it! (I get too caught up in what to eat and how much I can eat and how much to workout that I just want to DO IT and stop thinking about it so much!)******

25 Miles in June UPDATE

This is the result of the month of June! I did accomplish a lot and I'm really proud of myself, as you can see I kept track of how many miles we bicycled and also the miles I walked/ran/cross-trained. 

Biking Miles= 86

June Miles= 21

My goal was to get 25, I was shy just a few... I was a little disappointed I could have done the last 4 miles yesterday but we had a busy weekend and I was very exhausted... I had to get things ready for this next weekend too.  I can't complain though cause I feel I did good!

July I decided I would try to do 35 Miles, the higher number is because I want to do a 5k

at the Beginning of August so I want to get myself ready for it.

This is our weekend....

My wonderful boyfriend rode 85 miles on his bicycle Saturday.

He participated in the 100 Mile Cruiser Ride!

It was a lot of fun, I'm very proud of him, he did really well!

Keep Moving!

After the very raw honest post from last week, I have been reflecting and have talked to a few ppl that have read my blog and I was very surprised to hear how many people really enjoy reading my blog (that makes me feel good!), I was extremely nervous for the response I would get for exposing myself to things I don't really talk about much and then sharing it with the world, but even more extreme sharing it with people that I am close to!  I don't regret any of my past, everything that has happened to has made me stronger and made me who I am today! :)  Thanks to all my readers and those who support me, and most of all for not judging me to harshly!

On to more fun things!

After the topic of how I got to the SIZE I am, and completely laying it out on the table really

made me realize I have to break the cycle and this past week has been a huge learning curve and changed the way I think about myself, exercise, and eating healthy.

The biggest change I have made (remember it's only been a week.. there's still a lot I have to change but

these are just a few) during this past week, is I get excited to go to the gym... I 

try to think about what I want to accomplish while I'm at the gym and set a goal for myself and I don't leave the gym till I meet that goal. (usually I set a goal of wanting to get in 3 miles of exercise, so that means maybe I run 2 miles and do a mile on the cross trainer... however I get to 3 miles is my choice but I don't leave till I accomplish that goal)

I LOVE to run/jog again!! :D

I did a mile in 12:03 Thursday night after I had run a 12:53 min mile Tuesday night.

I was SO excited I kept going, I am more proud of myself that I am

learning to push through the initial pain of running and just start to enjoy it, I LOVE the way I feel

the next day after running... My muscles are all sore but I can feel my body getting

stronger when I run.

This is a picture from a wedding reception we went to this weekend... yikes it almost looks like I'm preggers.... :(

Another thing I am really trying to get under my belt is the way I eat, and why I eat.

I am starting to think about what I put in my mouth and the way it will affect my body and even my mindset.

It's crazy that certain foods set me off, but if I eat something unhealthy (chips for example), it makes me

want to continue to eat things that aren't good, it's like I can't control it.

Also another major thing that  hinders me is when I drink, I seem to think that anything and everything

is free game to shove down my throat after I have had like 2 or 3 (this one

is maybe the hardest habit to break at this time). Baby steps!

We had kind of a big weekend planned which can be really hard to stay on track and keep

my willpower strong enough to not make really bad choices.  I feel I held my ground fairly well... 

We did go to the gym Saturday, then we played tennis for awhile.

One way I've been testing my willpower to by choosing to not eat the bun or bread with my meals,

I love my carbs but I know they are not helping my weight lose cause I eat

WAY too many.  This simple step shows me that I'm committed to being a healthier me.

I don't want to be glued to the scale cause I don't want it to discourage me but for the first couple weeks I wanted to weigh myself to make sure what I am doing is working!

Monday last week 6-17-13 I weighed 287lbs when I got on the scale... Friday 6-21-13 I weighed 283lbs, I can't complain about 4lbs lost, but I was afraid after the weekend to step on the scale

so I decided to bust my butt at the gym tonight and then set on tomorrow to see how an entire week went!

I want to be out to of the 280's cause they are sabotaging me!

How I got to this Size?!

We all know that this journey to get fit and healthy is not only about eating right and working out it also entails some deep soul searching to understand who you got the size you are in the first place.

I was trying to understand all the things I do to sabotage myself and what got me to turn to food, alcohol and smoking....

I sat down yesterday and really wanted to bring everything to the surface for myself so I could see what caused this unhappy, unhealthy women I've become, so I wrote out a long letter explaining to myself

how I got to the place I am now and how I am going to change that.

Here it goes... (I will make it a shorter version for the sake of keeping your attention.)

My journey started in the fall of 2009, one of my really good friends and I started running together just for fun, it was a time for us to enjoy each others company while doing something good for our bodies! 

At the time I was in a very verbally abusive relationship with a women who put me down for my weight every single day, despite the fact I was running pretty much every night and I was taking action (not really on purpose but kind of).  We broke up a few months after that and I was SO proud of myself for taking my anger and frustration out on running and not by filling my body with food and unhealthy things

that were not going to fulfill anything but shame and guilt in my life.

I did a series of 5k's for the first time ever to keep me motivated to run instead of feel pain and sadness.

I decided to join a local gym so I could still run when the weather started to get bad (cold), I had just turned 21 so I was super excited to be able to go to Vegas and at the time I was still living at home so I could afford to go out and do fun things, we went on a Cruise to Mexico in Feb 2010, I was around 210lbs at the time and I felt great.  I worked out every night and focused on getting fit after the cruise I think it started to sink in that I was single and in my own self doubt I shut down, thinking I would never find love and I didn't know who I was as a person. My whole high school experience was very confusing and a hard time for me in finding myself and my identity as a person, just thinking about all I had been through  

brought on a lot of distress that I wasn't sure how to deal with at the time so I started drinking, smoking and eating myself to a better place where I felt good instead of sad and depressed.

About a year later I started dating a guy and I was super happy with life, I weighed around 240lbs, and I wanted the best for him and myself and things ended up not working out the way I thought they would so again I turned to the things I was so familiar with to fill my heartbreak and depression.

As life moved on I still didn't have any big goals for myself, I knew I wanted love and to get married and have kids someday but it felt so far away I started to give up on myself.

I started dating my current boyfriend Nov. 11, 2011 (proud of that date), we definitley had our struggles when we first started dating I was still in the midst of figuring myself out and also barrying myself in my own pity and self doubt. After a few months I finally opened up to where I was comfortable and I trusted him cause I knew he loved me no matter what SIZE I was. As I got more comfortable with him I in a way gave up on myself and just wanted to enjoy life and then I stepped on the scale seeing 283lbs and was very ashamed and I felt I really needed to give this my all and not give up on myself anymore!

I constantly beat myself up trying to make a plan on how to fix the problem and as you can see by reading my blog it has taking me thus long to still figure out what is really going on at 287lbs.

I feel I have worked at losing weight I go to the gym I eat healthy most of the time (MOST is the key word here) and that everything else didn't matter, but it's not only about the gym or what you eat.

I am done feeling sorry for myself about things that happened in the past that I can't go back and fix or take back and I am committed to leaving all my baggage at the gym in order to get myself to a better state.

 My mind is slowly clearing and the more I work out and push myself at the gym the more I want to keep going and to get all the negative things from my past out of my brain so they can stop sabotaging me.

I want to be healthy for my boyfriend (someday husband) and my kids.

*side note*

When I started dating my boyfriend he had just lost around 80lbs, 

he continues to push me each day to be able 

to reach my goals, and he is VERY patient with me! 

It's time I completely focus on myself and get my own sh*t in order!

I have been smoke free for 10 weeks (SUCCESS)
I ran a 12:53 mile last night, compared to 16:00 mile a few months ago (SUCCESS)
I am going to continue to celebrate my small successes in order to keep moving
and to continue my journey in finding myself and most
importantly LOVING myself!

That is me riding my way to success with my main man by my side! :)

Cycling

We had a very long and tiring weekend, I decided to have a garage sale this weekend for the city wide deal,

man is that exhausting! We did very well and we made pretty good money but it was a lot of work!

I definitely needed a stress relief after all that, so Friday night we had a fire with a couple 

friends over, then back at the g-sale Saturday morning.

We decided to take it easy Sat night and just rent a movie and relax! 

FYI Safe Haven is a really good movie! (even the bf liked it)

Sunday we wanted to ride, so we decided to go to Bondurant cause there is a new bar their 

where we ate brunch and then headed to the trail not to far from there.

This trail was AWESOME, we had a lot of fun just the two of us, it was on the Chichaqua Valley Trail, it's an old railroad route that was converted to a bike trail and it was in the woods... (we will definitely be riding this trail again in the future!)

This was the most podunk town we had ever seen!

Valeria pop. 62

Also on a side note... I was super bummed after riding cause I was excited to see how many calories I actually burn while riding (with my BodyMedia) and when I got done it said I only did like 12 minutes of moderate workout and like 1 minute of viguous workout and I was very disappointed cause we rode for like an hour and a lot of it was uphill so I know I worked hard!

I read on the internet today that if you put the armband around your calf it gets a more accurate reading for cycling, so I'm curious to see if that works (will update when I get to try it out!)

I'm not giving up on my BodyMedia, I think it's putting things into perspective for me and helping me to make better choices and to learn more about my body!

25 Miles in June

As the title says, I want to run 25 miles in June! I have been really pushing myself this week and I'm super 

excited to see the results, but if they aren't great I'm not giving up!

I seen on Jillian's website she was doing a challenge for her 'members', but I was too late to sign up

so I thought, why not set my owe goal and see if I can accomplish it!

I decided to do 25 miles in June, so roughly that is about one mile a day... I am going to push myself the best I can to reach that goal this month cause I need to keep reassuring my body that I really am

STRONG and I can do this! At the beginning of May I decided to see how

long it took me to run a mile, just out of curiosity since I haven't run in like 3 years... well the 

result was as I thought, not very good, 15 min it took me to run a mile (granted I walked a lot of it), well 

Monday while at the gym I ran a 14 min mile and I actually think I could have done a lot better

then that cause the first like third of the mile I walked but I was excited that

I broke the 15 min mile barrier that I started when I wasn't really focused and still losing heart about the

weight lose stuff!

The more I workout the more I can see myself getting Stronger and it's harder to

say NO and walk away.  I need this for myself so bad that now I don't want to give up, we all fail right?!?

We just gotta get back up and continue to fight the battle!

I'm trying my hardest to keep my mindless eating at bay and just enjoy myself and the things 

I have to look forward too, NO more EXCUSES!

I'm cchallenging everyone to set a goal for this month (something attainable!) and share with me what that is and how you will accomplish it!! :D

Body Media & DIY project

I've found myself some new motivation and I'm LOVING it!!!

I know you all aren't as obsessed with Biggest Loser as I am (well maybe you are...) but

after getting lots of ad's directed toward me about Body Media I had to check it out for myself! ( they use and advertise this on Biggest Loser often)

It is basically an arm band with a sensor on it that you wear on the back of your left arm

all day long, even when you sleep.  The reason it is so awesome is because

those sensors calculate how many calories you burn throughout the day, it gives you the activity level you

reached at diffrent points (moderate or vigerous), it calculates how many steps you take, and something

that I think is WAY cool, it monitors your sleep... it literally tells you when your just laying down or when you are actually asleep!

If you haven't figured out by now I bought myself one and it came on Saturday and I'm in love with it...

it makes me think about what I'm doing throughout the day to make sure I'm staying

healthy and moving toward my weight lose goal!

I contemplated buying this for a few months now because it was a little expensive and you have to

pay a monthly fee of $7 (big whoop) but I wanted to make sure I was going to be

completely commited to using it to my benefit and not just waste money on it! Since nothing

I have been trying has really worked lately I decided to try it out, I can always use a little

encouragment! The thing I'm most excited about it is it connects with MyFitnessPal and it

automatically syncs what I import on either one back and forth, it also adjusts my daily calorie intake

automatically based on how many calories I'm burning and what I need to eat to make up for it.

When I activated it I had to option to go with Body Media or The Plus program (Jillian Michaels), I was

pretty excited cause I like to read and follow some stuff Jillian has to say about

weight lose, so for 4/week (kinda of a lot more) I decided I would try it out and see what happens.  Well I was not excited once I signed up and found out that Jillian's website does not connect with MyFitnessPal(kdlarson22),

I didn't want to have to enter the things I ate on two different forums, not to

mention her forum doesn't have as many things in the database as MFP.  So I get to keep using it for a month on Jillian Michaels and learn what I can for free and then I switch to the regular Body Media site, which isn't all bad, they still give you tips on things you can do better in order to

achieve my goals.

Keep your fingers crossed that I can gain this motivation and run with it!

I still have a few things that I need to give up that I know are hindering my weight lose

I just haven't completely commited yet (getting VERY close though), on a

SUPER positive note!!! I hide the two month mark of NO smoking!!! ( I don't even miss it)

On to funner things!!

This was my fun DIY project of the weekend! I have SO many things that I have

found on pinterest or that I have just come up with in my own mind and I'm finally started to get a

few of them done!

This was a jewelry box like one I had as a kid, I decided to paint it

and since everyone is SO into Chevron lately I decided to add a little spice to it!

I didn't have any pictures of it completely put together with all the hardware and glass,

but you get the idea! :)

Happy Crafting to Everyone and Enjoy your Tuesday!

:D

Long Weekend.....

Most you know how crappy the weather was this weekend, well in the

great state of Iowa anyway!! (rain, rain, and more RAIN..)

Yep we are headed toward flooding again, and still more rain to come in the next few days.

The BF and I tried to keep ourselves busy indoors in order to not get too depressed that we couldn't go

bicycling this weekend,

I priced a lot of stuff for our garage sale in 2 weeks,

got some drinking time in (of coarse... how else do ppl spend their 3 day weekends..),

got some shopping in,

we went bowling one night!,

and then we just relaxed some also!

My bf carried a flag in the Memorial Day (parade)

As far as eating goes... ugh... it's just not fun to keep track of what you eat when you

are trying to enjoy your weekend, especially in between drinks. ;)

I did not weigh today because I was a little afraid, but today has been a good day,

Honestly I needed a day of detox, so eating good and drinking lots of water was a GREAT choice!

If you are in need of some encouragment I found this video today

and it's very insightful and fun, interview with Dani from Biggest Loser!

We all know how much I love the Biggest Loser, and also Dani who was the Season 15 winner!

MyFitnessPal

I Love this app!!!

Why you ask?! Well there are so many features!

-You can keep track of your calorie intake on your phone.(which most people have on them ALL the time)

-It has a TON of food choices in the database
-Most restarant's are listed
-You can see how many calories you burn based on your weight!
(there's a lot of different exercise choices.)
-There is a barcode scanner so you can scan Anything Anywhere at Anytime!
-You can see the summary of all the nutrients you took in during the day.
 -You can add your friends so they can see your working out and entering your food journal diary.
-You can also set your daily calorie goal for whatever you want per day.

There is just SO many things!

Please add me if you are a part of this app! 
(kdlarson22)

 This is how mine is currently set!

You strong, Girl!!

This weekend I put my willpower and my strength to the test! I'll be damned if I didn't prove to myself that I am strong and I able to work hard and get my  brain into it.

I went home Saturday morning after sleeping at my parents house, the BF was out of town which always calls for cocktails (hence why I DIDN'T drive and stayed at my parents. :)  As I was laying on the couch eating breakfast I thought to myself.. hum I should ride my bike to my parents house this morning, that way I can get exercise in and also I won't have to spend gas money to get back to Ames.  

I made up my mind and nothing was stopping me after that! Once I talk myself into something 

I feel let down if I don't follow through!

I took a shower got dressed in biking gear and hit the road! 

One hour and 13 miles later, I was feeling STRONG! 

I'm not sure the exact mileage cause my  speedometer isn't 100% correct.

After I got to Ames I was feeling really good, I was confident in myself for actually finishing something I said I was going to do, also for actually accomplishing it and not giving up.

When the BF and his brother got back to town they decided they wanted to ride, so

we thought it would be fun to try a new trail, we headed south to Bondurant where they are

paving a new trail to ride.

Come to find out the trail isn't done yet... or else we just weren't smart enough, we

followed what we thought was a trail and it took us to a lake

and around the lake and that was it... so we ended up just turning around and heading back to Founder's.

I think we all may have been relieved to not ride very far cause the boys roofed a garage 

and I had already rode 13 miles that day so we were all a little pooped...

we had a few drinks and headed back to the house to grill!! 

Total I rode about 16 or 17 miles on Saturday! 

I'd say that's pretty awesome since I haven't ridden much this year yet... Definitely felt it Sunday though. :)

NO PAIN, NO GAIN!

(Also I stepped on the Scale this morning cause I thought it would be a fair

number since I  burned 1500 cal Saturday and ate fairly well... no such luck

287lbs. the darn scale just doesn't want to agree with my new

changes... Soon enough I guess.)