I just wanna be happy all the time.. you know... like i need to make a conscious choice to be happy everyday no matter what.. but for some reason that is the most difficult thing for me to do. I wanna wake up everyday and be happy to be alive and to be able to smile and enjoy the world in all its beauty instead of watching up and thinking "OH GOD ANOTHER DAY". In my opinion that's not the way life should be... i just have this negative attitude toward life lately.
Don't get me wrong I love some of things i'm doing, School is amazing... i just seem to have this overall negative attitude.. Maybe because i'm not the exact person i want to be (not sure how to get there anyway) or maybe its just the fact that the things i want in life seem to be impossible to reach. It seems that people give up on me so easily sometimes, but its hard to gather yourself when you are BY yourself.
( i know i'm probably not making a lot of sense... i just really needed to get this out of my brain, and some people may understand or they may think i'm just plan psycho, or even that this girl has the choice to look at the brighter side of life.. but its not that simple at this point...)