Healthier Living

Well, here's what the last two weeks have looked like for this girl and her better lifestyle. 

I'd love to say I have done amazing and I've lost 15 or 20 lbs already but not the case. I am gonna be honest, it's been rough. I've found that when I work everyday it's better on my eating.  It's easier for me to control what I eat when i'm at work.  THEN, the weekends come, oh boy! Oh i'm terrible on the weekends, I like to drink so that doesn't help my case cause sometimes i make poor food choices when i've had a few cocktails, but i've been doing better then i was before.  At least when I have cocktails I try to make a better food selection instead of all the fried foods I love. 

Also, eating out is hard for me too, because things seem like they are the better choice but in reality we don't really know what all they put in them... So i've really enjoyed cooking at home and trying new recipes to try to make better food choices. 

As far as the exercise I've been doing fair, we have been going almost everyday or every other day at least.  I'm not really kicking my ass by any means but walking on the treadmill for at least 30 min to get my heart rate up.  I feel that's better then sitting my fat ass on the couch and watching tv all night. 

Just for the record I am down about 10 lbs, so yay, at least its working slowly! :)  My road to being healthy is slowly playing out.  I can't wait till I can do some of the things I used to do, I miss running SO much, it hurts my knees so  bad right now though because of my weight... SOON THOUGH!  I'm working my way to that, walking and doing the crosstrainer to get myself to a healthier weight before I kill my knees too bad!

Also, Heres to a Very special lady BECKY BERRY! I'm thinking about you all day today and the rest of the week! You will beat this and the tata's are no longer gonna kill you! ;) LOVE YOU!

(Say good-bye to breast cancer, because your more important to us then your breasts!!)

This is MY life!!!!

After my previous post I have spent a lot of time THINKING, not necessarily doing, mainly thinking about why it is that i want something SO bad but am not accomplishing it.  Well I've gained some insight on pinterest in the fitness section, with many different quotes and just health tips, and i finally read one that said, "If it's important to you, you will find a way.  If not, you will find an excuse."  That was exactly how i felt, if it was important to me then why wasn't i doing anything about it, besides just thinking about it.  So this past weekend i have set my motivation on FIRE!  I figured out that if i have a meal plan on what is going to be eaten at every meal of the day, then i will stick with it, its too easy to grab something unhealthy when there is not a healthy choice at my disposal.  It also makes the grocery list much easier, knowing i'm not buying things at random, and then letting them go bad, i'm buying things that actually go in a recipe for something that is on my menu for the week! :) 

I've been kind of working out like a couple times a week but with no schedule and i just went to the gym cause i thought it was what i should do.  Well last night, my boyfriend and i went to the gym and i was serious about getting in a good workout, mainly because i said i would get up early and go to the gym and i failed at that, so i wanted to make it up to myself.  So needless to say i worked my ass off, we made a commitment to be there for 40 minutes last night and i couldn't let him down or myself, we did stay and i burned 450 calories in 40 minutes, i was super excited, the nights we went before i was lucky if i burned 200 calories.  Needless to say, i'm very proud of myself the last couple days and not to mention i've been doing great with my food intake throughout the last two days also! :D 

I am getting my life back, one day at a time!

Destruction

This seems to be the theme of my life lately. I've constantly been destroyed by my mind and my thoughts. Everyone always says you can't look back in order to have a good future because you will never be what you were, so just look ahead and create what you want. That is So difficult. I think that I am a slave to food, literally. I want to be healthy and be able to do all the things I used to but i LOVE food. I don't understand how i went from working out everyday 2 years ago to eating everything in sight and weighing more then i've EVER weighed in my life or thought i could weigh. :( I'm trying not to let that discourage me because i have some great people in my life that are sticking by my side and trying to keep me encouraged but its so hard because i am my own demon, its like i know what it takes but dont know how to force myself to get there. Again, its a mental destruction that i'm trying to figure out how to overcome.


I thought maybe since i'm pubicly announcing this that it might encourage me to not let my mind destroy me. That I myself can take control, i have so many people around me that are success stories in getting their lives back and I want it SO bad for myself, but it is myself that is stopping me from that. I've always been doubted by people that i couldn't get where i wanted to go so that is going to be my motivation, is to prove to myself that others can't discourage me or tell me how i will live my own life. I AM IN CONTROL, AND ONLY ME!