Weekend Gym Dates

My boyfriend and I are making it a point to do gym dates on the weekends, ususally we go on sunday mornings but we discovered that if we go both days we can pretty much enjoy all the equipment and the weights because there isn't as many people if you go early on a weekend. 

I like to try out the weights and different kind of strength training but I feel so silly when I try something new because there is always a hurd of guys in the weight section and it's embarrassing if you have no idea what your doing.  On weekends when there is limited people or less intimiating people around it's easier to try new things and try out all the equipment that you wouldn't try if there were people around. 

Things I got to try this weekend without feeling judged.... Lunges (ouch!), jump rope, a weight machine that I have been wanting to try but wasn't sure how to use it and now I know so I can use it even when there are other people there.

I'm really enjoying the gym lately, it just makes you feel good when you go, but the only bummer is when you go at night like 7 like I do you only really get the feel good for a few hours until you go to bed, I just can't get myself to get up early enough to go before work, which is kinda ridiculous since I don't have to be to work till 830.... I might have to try it one of these days to see if it makes much of a difference.

I have been doing really good on my eating lately I've used the biggest loser books to help me figure out how many calories and what I should be eating, and I found that about 1900 calories is what I should be eating a day and then that will go down as I lose weight (which as been a lack thereof).  As far as what I have been eating,

Breakfast I eat a Special K flatbread sausage egg and cheese sandwich, with a organic lowfat chocolate milk.
Snack a special K protein bar
Lunch a Deli flat with a laughing cow cheese wedge spread on it and turkey breast lunchmeat, cottage cheese, and today I had some special k chips
Snack another Special K protein bar
Dinner... This one is tricky I try to not eat any carbs for dinner since I eat both my servings at breakfast and lunch so I usually will make some sort of meat with a veggie, tonight I have planned to make apple chicken brats cut up with onions peppers and potatoes in my skillet, we try to buy potatoes that aren't white potatoes cause those aren't as good for you.

Snack if I still have calories left to eat I usually eat a vanilla greek yogurt, sometimes with kashi in it for crunch. 

WOW that is a lot of SPECIAL K.... ha.  I didn't plan it that way I guess I just happened to buy a lot of special k items at the store lately.
* the new flatbread breakfast sandwiches are really good!  I like to eat something hot for breakfast thats why I usually resort to eating gas station pizza or a breakfast sandwich from their because I don't have much time to cook breakfast ( god for bid I give up 10 minutes of sleep...) They only take 1 minute 30 seconds in the microwave so that is pretty manageable.... Guess that is my advertising bonus for Special K's new product . :)

Happy Birthday to my wonderful mom today! LOVE YOU MOM! :)

This is MY life

This weekend I thought I should consider using myfitnesspal app again, I used to use it to keep track of calories in the past but I really hate to keep track of everything I eat... Well it was not a good feeling after revealing to myself what and how much of stuff I eat in a day and how many calories I consume.

It's really no wonder I have gotten to the size I am now and why I feel so ashamed, I don't really wanna do this because it's a big step but here is what my calorie intake was for yesterday. This is a typical day for me.

(Sorry i guess you can't read that very well, my goal is 1990 in a day, I consumed 3295, and I went over by 1305 calories)


This is a major reality check if you ask me.... This is not just because it was a weekend, this is something that I would do/did.  It makes me sad to see that i was almost 2 times over my calorie budget and not only that I'm sure there was some things I forgot to add too, and I probably had a little more vodka that what I wrote down.

This is me being honest with you guys and myself, I did this for the last 2 years to my body, I eat around 3000 calories a day and didn't even realize it, and most days I didn't workout.  At least at this point I am making a better effort to workout every night which has been going fairly well but to still eat that many calories and workout doesn't even bring me down to the calorie intake I should have in a day.

Biggest Loser

I don't know how many of you guys watch or even care to watch the show biggest loser, but for me it is very inspiring and a big part of my week!  I love to come home from work on Monday nights because I know that my gym time will be spent trying to keep up with the contestants on the biggest loser.  To me it's very motivating watching someone get yelled at because I get to just watch and not feel the pain they are going through.... may be cruel but I would definitely cry if Jillian was yelling at me to work harder. 

That being said I was really interested to see what kind of "diet" they give those people and how they explain to them how to eat right and change their lifestyle to not include junk food.  So I went on Amazon(my FAVORITE cite!) and found some of their cook books and I ordered one, when I got it I was super excited cause in the front of the book it explained the way the contestants are taught to eat and how they are supposed to eat.  I really want to learn the basics of nourishing my body as I have explained in previous posts.(here) I have since made a few of the recipes and most of them have been really good, there are a few I would change some things to make them my own but other then that they give you a good base to go by in order to see what the things you should intake are.

 

The biggest thing for me in this whole process is I just want to be healthy and I'm not as concerned about the weight I lose, yes it's important I lose weight but I'm trying not to make that my focus or else I just get disappointed when I step on the scale and it doesn't read for all the hard work I have put in. 

Last night's gym session went very well! I'm starting to get to the point where I don't really look at how long I've been on the machines I try to focus on my workout or whatever show I'm watching and that makes me workout way longer.  One thing I have to do for myself is to change things up.... even if it means trying a new machine or doing things in a different order, I get really bored with thinking about going to the gym and doing the same thing, so throughout the day I try to think about how I will do things different that night in order to keep me from backing out, for fear I will not enjoy it.  It doesn't take much for me to get uninterested, gotta keep my brain thinking and wondering most of the time so I can stay focused on the big picture!

Weekends will not be the Death of me!

I'm telling you I will not let the weekends destroy me.... I seem to get plowed over by the weekends and it's like a free for all as soon as 5 O'clock hits Friday night!  It's like I feel I can eat whatever I choose and drink as much as I feel necessary!  I'm going to gain control of this, I will do it!  This is the one thing that seems to hold me back from my weight lose 90% of the time, is weekends!

Here is my rant or maybe excuse to why this happens... (I'm trying to get rid of excuses!)  When the BF and I go grocery shopping, usually on Sunday's, I try to plan out a menu or at least have stuff on the list that we can make meals with so that way we don't look at each throughout the week and say what is for dinner, we have no choice but to eat the things we have bought (worked this past week!)... until Friday night at 5. :/ 
As soon as we get to 5 we decide to eat an drink whatever we want.

The thing is worked out all week every night even Friday night and Saturday so when I workout I try to make better food choices in order to not destroy what I just accomplished at the gym. The problem is week was I was so excited I lost two pounds for all the hard work I did on trying to eat clean and kicking my butt at the gym well not only did I gain that back in a day I gained another pound.... Ugh talk about going backwards. It sucks that all your hard work can go away in a day...

I will not let the weekends ruin me!!!

Overcoming Tough Battles

I've jumped on the wagon! I'm so freaking sick of being fat and not being able to feel good about myself, it's time I do something about it instead of talk about it ALL the TIME. 
One thing that has really got me concerned is the fact that I don't even care to look good when I get up and go to work everyday, I don't feel pretty in any way so why should I try to make myself look that way.  It's like I've just given up on myself.  My cloths don't fit the way I like so I buy cloths that are way to big just so they will cover my body and that way people can't see the actual me.  I'm sick of hiding behind cloths and my weight, it may take me a year or 3 years to get to where I wanna be but so help me god I WILL do it!

I really wanted to learn how to eat the things my body needs to be nourished each day and what better place to look then what they tell the Biggest Losers to eat.  I ordered a cookbook of Biggest Loser Recipes and I love it.  I'm learning a lot about food, I'm not perfect and don't make the best choices all the time but I'm really trying to focus on what will make my body healthier and happier.  Along with some of the recipes I have found I am also going to the gym every night, I'm out of shape but I've been determined and even if I only last 20 minutes I'm just happy I got off the couch for that short time in order to get my metabolism going a little. 

Clearly in my last posts I'm not perfect in any way, but I am focusing on being a healthier person, I don't want my weight to hold me back from doing different things in my life (it has already affected quiet a few things and I refuse to let it ruin more). 

My breakfast options have been:
-Whole wheat waffles with a little peanut putter and sugar free syrup, topped with strawberries
-Cream of wheat with pumpkin and cinnamon
-banana with peanut butter, kashi cereal on top and greek yogurt

Snacks:
-Whole wheat tortilla with laughing cow cheese and turkey rolled up
-yogurt with kashi cereal for crunch
-celery and peanut butter
-apple with greek yogurt
-postachios

Lunchs:
this one is hard for me cause I'm really bad at packing a lunch....
-Subway, I get a flatbread with turkey or chicken

Dinners:
-ground chicken meatballs and butternut squash fries
-cod with cauliflower mashed potatoes and broccoli
-Turkey tomato soup

These are all new things I'm trying, a lot of things I have read say that you should limit or even eliminate carbs after 3pm so I've been trying to come up with recipes for dinner that don't have carbs or much of them. 

I'm loving the Biggest Loser Cookbook cause most of the recipes are pretty easy and don't require to much work involved cause usually by the time I get home I'm really hungry and don't want to spend an hour cooking dinner.

"Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game!"

I know I've talked about fear in a previous post {here}, but it seems to be a really big issue with people that struggle with being overweight, it's like fear is always holding us back.  You may all laugh at me but I love to watch the biggest loser because it encourages me to be better and if they can do it so can I, but if you have noticed that almost all of them at some point have broke down and their biggest concern was with FEAR, the fear of being rejected.... and many other things,  I'm so tired of hearing this and not being able to overcome it! We have to BELIEVE in ourselves, be trust that we are capable before we give up and throw in the towel.  As I've said many times I'm not perfect but I'm trying to be better.