LiVe LaUgH LoVe: Goals & Struggles

After finishing the book Unlimited by Jillian Michaels it was clear to me that in order to be successful at anything in your life you have to set goals, big and small, and they have to be specific not just, 'oh someday I want to be a superstar', being specific about your big goals and making small daily, weekly, monthly goals in order to reach the bigger goals you have.

I've decided to share a few with you guys that I came up with:

-Be physically strong, push my body

-Gain stronger willpower to say no to the things that destroy my small goals

-Art Journaling (getting my hobbies back in my life)

-Eat healthy

-Incorporate exercise into everyday life

-Finish School (currently going for Business Administration)- hope to be done at the end of Summer 2014

-Lose 122lbs

Things that I feel hold me back from reaching some of these goals are:

*I feel if I fail everyone will be disappointed in me... which shuts me down, and makes things even worse.
*I've had some relationships in the past that have caused me to be insecure with myself and hard to trust others.
*I feel even more insecure because of the weight I've gained.
*I feel like I make up reasons for those around me to not love me 100% and I often push them away to keep myself from feeling hurt and defeated.

In the eyes of fear, Jillian explains that you need to follow those who have gone through the things you fear so you have something to cling too when the road gets narrow and you feel your about to pull back because of the fear you are facing.
There are a few blogs I follow in order to keep my head on straight and that have or are going through the weight lose journey that I want to be on they include:
Paige at http://joyjourneypaige.blogspot.com/
Mama Laughlin at http://www.mamalaughlin.com/
Skinny Meg http://www.skinnymeg.com/
A recent find http://www.fatchick2fitchickblog.com/
I love to read all of these blogs because they are encouraging and they talk about some of the major struggles they are having or have had on their weight lose journey!

I road in a previous blog {here} explaining about the successes I had last week and what it took me to get to the point of being successful, well I'm gonna be completely honest as soon as I celebrated and jumped for joy I got off track again, today is the first day I have gotten back onto my plan, I bet you can all see why when I fail I shut down and think I will never be able to accomplish this because in the past that is what I do, I fail and then I turn to the things I fear the most (food) to comfort me which in turn brings me back to or higher weight then I was when I got myself to be successful. {I tell ya if you could get inside my brain and straighten it out for me that would AWESOME!}

The one thing I feel the most is The weekend, that should be the time I jump for joy because I have freedom on the weekends, but that is the problem, Freedom... When I get into a routine during the week, where I can get my mind to a place of being successful, then the instant Friday at 5 o'clock hits all HELL breaks lose in my brain.... I can't just give up on myself like this... it's become a vicious cycle I can't seem to get around, it's like a MAJOR road block!